Yesterday I started my day with a regular detox drink and a yoga practice, and when all was done and I was ready to sit at my computer and work, I suddenly felt like crying. Such a deep pity for myself from the depth of my heart, and I let it out.
So I ended up crying for pretty much the whole day without any particular reason but with many little significant reasons that needed a release but have been kept inside for too long.
People can roughly be divided into two categories – those who want to be alone when they are sad and those who need to be around people when they are sad. I am definitely the second one – so I asked my friend to come and sit next to me, and later I talked to five more friends online about how miserable I am and how life equals suffering.
And that’s what I found out – some of my friends tried to cheer me up in any way possible telling me it shall pass and that I should be happy not sad. Others told me to just leave it, live it and accept it. Humans are no machines and we are meant to grieve when we are letting go of something important, said that one Russian guy in his article, A Right for Sadness. Truth is, we all have a right to be sad and we all have a right to be vulnerable (the power of vulnerability has been praised a lot by Rene Brown). So next time I am crying at a restaurant I shall try very hard not to feel guilty about it. In fact, one should be proud of the courage of crying in public.
For the past couple of years I have been exposed a lot to the sanskrit term “samsara” which is often translated as suffering into English. This affirms us into the fact that life is full of suffering and we have nowhere to run from it. Yesterday morning I read a mantra that is hanging on my door and it translated samsara as “conditioning” which is what it is. Life is not suffering, but suffering is a result of conditioning, and if we allow ourselves or others to condition our mind into certain thinking or behavioural patterns, then we need a way to let them our of our system too – be it meditation, yoga, dancing, jumping or crying.
So don’t be shy, cry it all out. The world is thirsty for your tears. And after your eyes get swollen and you get a headache, you will find a very deep feeling of peace inside yourself. Even if its just for half an hour, it’s totally worth it.